


I'll be (her nowhere man)

by nausicaa_of_phaeacia



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Magic, Chatting & Messaging, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Season/Series 05, Post-Serum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 06:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16634981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa_of_phaeacia/pseuds/nausicaa_of_phaeacia
Summary: Coulson and Daisy can't be together, or people around them will die. Like mythological lovers or something. Such angst. Very.





	I'll be (her nowhere man)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyepilot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/gifts), [zauberer_sirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/gifts).



> I honestly don't know where this came from.  
> I suspect it's kind of something I wanted to read but then had the stupid idea of trying to write it myself?

Robin asks her sometimes how it works, why they‘re not allowed to meet, why Coulson needs to be as far away from Daisy as possible, and Daisy tries to explain; but she‘s never completely understood it herself. This much is clear: It‘s all because of the serum Coulson got from the Kree when a derivative of their blood saved his life yet again (or, okay, when Daisy helped him inject half of the dose into his good arm). 

It‘s got something to do with a sort of magnetism between the serum running through Coulson‘s vein, and the blood running through hers, and people in their proximity being slowly, slowly drawn towards the two of them whenever they‘re close. They first discovered the anomaly at the hospital, with Coulson still in bed, with Jemma forcing Daisy to stay away. Obviously, having people die from exposure to whatever Coulson and her are apparently radiating when together isn‘t something Daisy wants, but she can‘t deny that sometimes, at night, she feels like anything could be justified as long as it would allow them to be together again.

Robin has suggested blood transfusion, but they both need the alien material to keep them "up and running", as Mack puts it sometimes, so awkward messages to the other end of the world it is, with Daisy getting up at the craziest hours to leave him a line now and then.

 _\-- everything sucks_ , she writes into the chat one day, with Coulson just having gotten up and herself on the way to bed.  
_\-- I know. I‘m sorry._  
_\-- why would u be?_ She sighs. It‘s not his fault, not anybody‘s; her own maybe, for injecting him, even though she knows it was the right thing to do. She‘d rather have Coulson on the opposite side of the planet, unreachable, invisible to her, but alive.  
It takes him long to reply.  
_\-- I‘m sorry for leaving you,_ he types.  
_\-- wasn‘t your choice_ , she responds. It‘s true.

She deals with press conferences, briefings, staff meetings, even the photo shoots. As always, she takes her job very seriously. It‘s hard to maintain friendships when you‘re in charge of the whole shebang, but Mack‘s stuck around, and Joey‘s come back. She likes to call him her right hand, like he‘s her little brother or something, and it feels good to know he‘s got her back.

 _\-- guess what_ , she types one evening.  
Coulson replies promptly.  
_\-- What? :)_  
_\-- joey‘s baaaaack !!!_  
Then Coulson just sends a lot of smiley faces, and she loves him for it.

The months pass, and while so many different things are happening, they all feel the same, to some extent.  
_\-- you up?_ , she writes, knowing that Coulson should be fast asleep by now.  
_\-- s URE: wHAT#S GONIG ON=_  
She chuckles, considers making a joke, but he‘s quicker:  
_\-- Oops. Not as awake as I‘d thought :)_  
_\-- how are you?_  
_\-- Alright, I guess. Everything feels a little weird._  
_\-- weird how?_  
_\-- Not having you around is_  
_\-- is what?_  
_\-- Weird isn‘t the right word. I don‘t know, Daisy._  
_\-- i‘m here tho, coulson_  
_\-- I know. Thank you._  
She doesn‘t know what to say, watches the cursor blink until the green dot next to Coulson‘s alias turns grey. She needs to try to get at least some sleep, even if it‘s just an hour some time during the day.

She wakes up to the familiar bleep of the chat.  
_\-- DAISY_  
_\-- shoot_ , she manages, eyes not quite open. It‘s only eight p.m., but it means she got a few hours at least. It must be around, what, four in the morning at his end, then?  
_\-- I MISS YOU_  
She gasps, almost knocks over her mug of cold coffee, catches it with her left,  
then decides to take a deep breath before replying.

 _\-- i miss you too silly_  
_\-- THANK GOD!1!_  
_\-- I THOHGUT IT WAS JUSTME_  
_\-- definitely not just you_  
Coffee isn‘t strong enough for this, she thinks.  
_\-- THIGNS ARE NOT THESAME WITHUOT YOU_  
_\-- same here_  
If this weren‘t so absurd, and if there weren‘t so many typos in Coulson‘s messages, she‘d consider crying. Maybe. Yeah.

 _\-- CANT FIND THE CAPS_  
_\-- THINK THE KYEBOARD CHANGEED_  
_\-- maybe it‘s just the scotch? :)_ , she tries.  
_\-- YES PROBABABLY_  
_\-- are you okay?_ , she asks, to be sure, because this isn‘t like Coulson, Coulson is responsible and controlled and he – he wouldn‘t. It‘s weird.  
_\-- NO_  
_\-- YES_  
_\-- EVRYTHING IS OK_  
_\-- you sure?_  
_\-- YEAH I JSUT MISS YOU_  
Daisy sniffles, but also wants to laugh.  
_\-- i miss you too._

It takes a really long time until he sends his next line and Daisy almost thinks he‘s fallen asleep.  
_\-- OK I THNIK ICAN SLEEEP NOW_  
She almost giggles. He‘s cute. She can almost imagine him, tired eyes, bent over the keyboard.  
_\-- okay phil. take care, yeah?_  
_\-- U2_ , he goes right away.  
_\-- thanks :)_  
_\-- SLEEEP WELL DAISY I LOVE YOOU_  
Daisy swallows, almost closes her laptop, then flips it open again. Fuck it.  
_\-- i love you too_  
_\-- ::)))))))))))))_ , she gets back. Okay.

She‘s fidgety all through the conference next morning, plays with the button on her blazer. There was no message from Coulson when she got up, but she figured he really needed the sleep. As soon as the cameras are off, she hastily shakes hands with the embassadors seated next to her, then runs off to her car.

Out of breath, she opens her laptop, but there‘s nothing.  
She almost wants to cry, then takes a bath instead.

Her laptop bleeps again in the middle of the night.  
_\-- I meant it._ , it reads on the screen.  
Her breath hitches, her eyes sting all of a sudden. Keep it together, she tells herself.  
_\-- punctuation is back i see :)_  
She could actually slap herself for writing that. The few seconds until he types a reply are excruciating.  
_\-- I‘m sorry_ , he writes.  
_\-- I shouldn‘t have messaged you. I was a bit drunk._  
It makes her cry, all the pent-up tension and the stress from work isn‘t helping either.  
_\-- no no no no no no no_ , she tries.  
_\-- i‘m so sorry coulson i was just trying to make a stupid joke_  
She wipes away a few tears, Coulson isn‘t responding. Okay. Well.  
_\-- i meant it too_  
His reply takes forever, and Daisy notices her heart beating in her throat like she‘s fifteen or something.  
_\-- Daisy_  
_\-- Don‘t joke about this, please._  
Oh fuck.

 _\-- i‘m not. i swear i‘m not._  
_\-- coulson i promise i‘m not_  
_\-- Fuck._ , he writes.  
_\-- I wish I‘d known._  
_\-- i‘m sorry, i didn‘t know how to say it_ , she admits, because if she‘s being honest, this isn‘t a new feeling, not when she thinks about it. It‘s been there for quite a while.  
_\-- i‘m an idiot_  
_\-- You‘re NOT an idiot, Daisy._  
_\-- I wish I‘d told you sooner. I wish we‘d have known._  
_\-- i know._  
_\-- this is so shitty!_  
_\-- But at least now we know :)_  
_\-- I mean provided you‘re sure you‘re not just pranking me or something._  
_\-- c o u l s o n_  
_\-- Sorry :)_

 _\-- You know, I really can‘t believe it_ , he writes.  
_\-- I‘d never have thought._  
_\-- why? i mean you‘re not exactly single in my area but you know_  
_\-- you‘re the best guy_  
_\-- :)))_  
_\-- (I‘m also blushing. Just for visual reference.)_  
Daisy laughs out loud.  
_\-- wish i could see that_  
_\-- bet it looks hella cute_  
_\-- but u always look cute_  
_\-- (Still blushing.)_  
_\-- naww now you‘re just being coy_  
_\-- charmer you_  
_\-- Well, I‘m not the one throwing compliments around like it‘s my job._  
_\-- oh believe me i noticed_

A beat passes, and she‘s a bit scared she might have said something stupid.  
_\-- No compliment does you justice. _, he writes just as she starts typing.__  
Fuck. Tears again. Like okay, body, thank you, but she‘d like to engage in a written chat with Coulson without having to wipe her eyes every few minutes or whatever. Also she‘s almost out of handkerchiefs.  
_\-- you‘re definitely overdoing it now_  
_\-- I‘m serious, Daisy. There is no one like you._  
It costs her all her willpower and almost a full minute to reply.  
_\-- thanks._  
_\-- thank you._  
Then, the atmosphere kind of dissolves, partly with her help, since she‘s trying to change the subject. She‘s never been able to accept kind words just like that, least of all when they are romantic. And that‘s the thing with Coulson, she knows she‘ll always have him in her corner, so he‘s probably just saying these things to be nice, because he wants her to be happy. He always wants her to be happy. Huh.

The next day passes without messages, and so does the day after that. She sits in front of her laptop a lot, tries to catch the little dot next to his name turning green, but it doesn‘t.  
The following day, she‘s close to panicking, replays everything she‘s said in her head over and over again, terrified that she might have scared him off, offended him, hurt him in some way. Wouldn‘t be news, that‘s just her, blurting out things without thinking, especially in written conversations. 

Then, in the evening, there‘s a knock on her bunk when she isn‘t expecting anybody. She opens the door anyway.  
There he stands. Coulson. With a bag, in a coat.  
"Coulson, what –"  
Her voice fails her. A few rogue tears. Her face grimaces, relaxes, grimaces again, like she‘s trying to be strict with herself but can‘t hold back her emotions even though she‘d like to.  
He just walks up to her and hugs her, close, like this is about life and death. And it probably is, since it‘s going to be a matter of minutes until the people nearest to them are going to fall over, faint, get nose bleeds and the like, their health deteriorating by the second from the radiation between her and Coulson, little by little.  
She pulls away. "We can‘t, Coulson, we can‘t let them –"  
"Don‘t worry," he interrupts. "We‘re running to Hangar C, okay?"  
"Wha-- We can‘t just--"  
"Trust me," he whispers, almost inaudible, and Daisy nods immediately, grabs her jacket, and they run, accelerating as they count the seconds since they hugged, with Coulson grabbing her hand as they reach the hangar‘s door. 

Daisy almost trips over when she sees it.  
"Not quite the _Enterprise_ , but we‘ll make do with it," he says, and Daisy hears his smirk, knows it‘s going to be alright.  
"Genius," she whispers mere seconds later, as they‘re looking back down at the planet, strangely blue in a sea of black.  
"It was Joey‘s idea, actually," he starts to explain, "I suddenly remembered something he said when we first diagnosed this, about gravit--"  
Her lips are hot on his, so hot he almost doesn‘t understand what‘s happening as she kisses him like it‘s the only thing that matters.  
"Wow," he says, smiling like an idiot, and he sounds so much like himself that she wants to cry.  
Coulson carefully unbuckles them, and their feet leave the floor, like this is how things are meant to be, weightless, unbound. He gently, _gently_ kisses her back, and Daisy thinks she doesn‘t care how rarely they are going to get to do this, they _are_ going to get to do this, she‘ll make sure of it, at least until Someone Somewhere who isn‘t Fitz is going to come up with a viable solution, because for some reason, there is an _until_ now, and it‘s the best thing that‘s happened since years. 

__"What are you thinking about?," he asks, his voice all velvet and honey and like she‘s the only person in the world.  
"You," she says, touching a fingertip to his nose._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!!! ♥
> 
> The title is a line from _No Cure for the Lonely_ by Swans.


End file.
